(apologies to John Masefield)

I must go down to the lab again, to the lonely lab and the beam,
And all I ask is polarized muons, as strange as that might seem;
And the flashing lights and tangled cables and bright computer screen,
And a spectrum showing a signal that has never before been seen.

I must go down to the lab again, for the call of the muon’s decay
Is a wild call and a clear call that has great things to say;
And all I ask is a well-tuned beam on a tiny final focus,
And a magical sample steeped in theoretical hocus-pocus.

I must go down to the lab again, to the isolated life,
To the pion’s way and the muon’s way where science replaces strife;
And all I ask is a data plot that all can comprehend,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the owl shift’s at its end.

(For Rob Kiefl’s retirement party, 8 Feb 2025)