Since the Great Freeze of 1989, early May in Central Florida isn't what it used to be, with hundreds of square miles of orange blossoms pumping out a perfume to make jasmine weep in envy. But there are still enough groves to catch your olfactory attention. George and I were sitting in his 12 foot […]


Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Democratic Party?  Fuck you.  You know the answer. You are advised not to speak disrespectfully to this Committee.   Or what?  You'll put me away for longer?  Or maybe a firing squad -- I hardly care any more, living in this pitiful excuse […]


Once upon a time there was a clam that grew a beautiful shell. The two halves of the shell were perfectly matched to each other and were very, very happy together. Most people don't realize that the clam's shell is the smart part. The clam itself is just a dumb mollusc. But to realize its […]


It all started like this: GOD (which stands for Good Ol' Deity, obviously an experimentalist) decided to do an experiment. "Bang!" He said, and there was a bang. A big one! However, since He had neglected to make a place for the big bang to go, it was hard to tell it had happened. That's […]


Pain! Searing, visceral, unendurable pain.  Terrifying pain, and then an end to endurance... I die.  And yet I am still here. What is "here"? Think.  What came before the pain?  I was testing the new Transporter... Oh my god, the Transporter must have malfunctioned!  But none of the birds and dogs showed the slightest discomfort […]

Will Freed

William Harris Freed was born in 2034 on the eve of the long awaited Singularity. By then the world was effectively dichotomized into various sects: those who swore allegiance to Nature's People versus those who put all their faith in the superior intelligence of CE's (Cybernetic Entities -- a term that embraced both pure machines […]

The Lover

"I tell you guys, that was the strangest case I ever had."  Mac Adams shook his head slowly and stared into his glass as if it held some secret wonder. Fred thought he was just mugging for effect.  "Come on, Mac, don't tease us. Strange how?"  They had all been buying pitchers and emptying them long enough to […]

Virginia Woof

Oh, yes. I absolutely adore meeting with the media, it's my chance to give something back, don't you know, to give aspiring young journalists a paw up, as it were. It's the least I can do. I understand, dear. Of course you feel that way. I'm sure I would too, if I were in your […]

Eating is Murder

Sure, I can explain our motto. Back in the late Twentieth Century, a growing number of people rejected the practice of exploiting, killing and eating animals. So-called "vegetarians" had of course existed for thousands of years, mostly in other countries, but "vegans" went further and refused to steal their sustenance from other animals. These people […]

No Time

Harry sat in the time machine and cried.  Not the usual tear leaking from a reluctant eye; this time the dam burst into great heart-wrenching sobs, his shirt front wet from tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping off his chin.  He pitched forward onto the control panel and buried his face in his arms. […]