The Experiment

The Physicist, a lovestruck knight
comports himself with honour
at the tournament Experiment
in hope that Lady Nature,
lovely, chaste, mysterious maiden,
charmed by his heroic deeds,
will twirl with delight and let her gown
slip open briefly to reveal
a glimpse of breast or flash of thigh.

The Chemist is a rogue who cares
only for schemes
to get into the lady’s pants.

The Engineer’s already down
on one knee proposing marriage
and the raising of bright
industrious children
who will make their parents rich.

The Biologist catalogues these
examples of courtship behaviour

while the Psychologist smiles knowingly

and the Philosopher is, of course,
above all this nonsense.



3 Commentsto The Experiment

  1. Caleb Beers says:

    Philosophy guy here. Had a good chuckle at the last stanza. It reminds me of a little rigmarole I use to make academics laugh:

    “If physics is to mathematics as sex is to masturbation, is logic to mathematics as fantasizing is to masturbation? You can’t do mathematics without logic, after all. This means that philosophy of science would be like voyeurism while philosophy of mathematics would be like fantasizing ABOUT masturbating, and engineering would be real kinky.

    Meanwhile, a biologist studying the reproductive system hangs herself.”

  2. Philosopher here too. He could have tried to find meaning – any at all – in the above – but unfortunately, no one talks to each other to examine premises/assumptions, motives, conclusions. And what would a Poli Sci guy do, and an Historian? Keep on, this has longlasting possibilities for Academe!

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