I think it must have coalesced out of the Soup.\u00a0 Something like that.\u00a0 All I know is, for a long time there was just the Soup, nice and simple.\u00a0 Well, actually I don’t remember much about that time — no detail, anyway.\u00a0 You know; what’s to remember?\u00a0 But then suddenly I was aware of it.\u00a0 It moved.\u00a0 I’d say that was the trigger: it moved, and suddenly there was not just the Soup, but this Thing in the Soup and then the Soup itself, and all the relationships and interactions between them.\u00a0 I can tell you, it was pretty complicated getting it all sorted out, but I think I’ve got it straight now.<\/p>\n
Mind you, if I hadn’t got it straight I wouldn’t be telling you about it now; I’d still be mooning away, meditating sleepily on the Soup, I’d never have known about… well, other things.\u00a0 Like the Place, for instance.\u00a0 If I hadn’t tackled the problem of the Thing in the Soup, I doubt if I ever would have found out about the Place.\u00a0 This is a fantastic idea. Let me try to put it simply:\u00a0 the Soup is in the Place.\u00a0 Inside.\u00a0 Get it?\u00a0 It’s a boundary, a border, a limit.\u00a0 The Soup is in a volume I call the Place, which is defined by a boundary. Isn’t that neat?\u00a0 Well, maybe it’s beyond you.\u00a0 Anyway, I never would have figured it out if it hadn’t been for the appearance of the Thing in the Soup. Because the Thing moved, see, and then it became obvious that there was more to the Soup than just being there; it has properties, and I have more or less exhaustively analyzed them.\u00a0 The main property the Soup has is volume.\u00a0 This became apparent because of the Place, which defines the volume.\u00a0 Ho boy.\u00a0 Look, think of it this way:\u00a0 the Thing moves, but even though the Soup doesn’t keep it from moving, it keeps running up against the limits; it is stopped by something; it finds the boundaries.\u00a0 Watch.<\/p>\n
Kick.\u00a0 See, there it goes again.\u00a0 I can tell just when it’s going to do it.\u00a0 Notice how it runs up against the Place.\u00a0 The Place is funny, it lets the Thing change it a little, for a while, but it always comes back to the way it was.\u00a0 It took a lot of tests to figure out the difference between where it likes to stay and where it can be pushed to.<\/p>\n
The Thing moves, and I pay close attention.\u00a0 It’s fun.\u00a0 Most of the time, anyway.\u00a0 Lately the Place has been pushing back, and that’s a drag.\u00a0 Really.\u00a0 It comes without warning, not like the nice predictable way the Thing moves, and really violent.\u00a0 It almost squashes the Thing, and the Thing makes bad feelings.\u00a0 I don’t know how it does that — don’t ask me to solve all the problems of existence at once — but the Thing is able to make all these bad feelings, and it does it every time the Place squashes it.\u00a0 I don’t like either of them when that happens.\u00a0 I get a bad case of confusion.<\/p>\n
I mean, what the hell, I have figured out a lot since the Thing appeared in the Soup — I probably understand the situation better than you, whoever you are — but I still have a lot to iron out.\u00a0 It’s challenging, sometimes it’s a bit much to take.\u00a0 I mean, time, for instance; time is a nice neat problem.\u00a0 The appearance of the Thing in the Soup separated time into “before” and “after” — that took me a while to sort out, but it was fun — and then the Place started this squashing business, which made a second separation into “before” and “after” except this “before” was in the “after” of the appearance of the Thing in the Soup.\u00a0 So I had to invent my theory of time as a sequence of separations like that, which I call “events”.\u00a0 Sorry to bore you with all this theoretical stuff, but you need to understand about time to get the gist of all this.\u00a0 Anyway, that was a nice problem.\u00a0 But then there’s the ugly ones.\u00a0 Like what’s outside the Place.\u00a0 This is tough to explain: if the Place is the container for the Soup and the Thing is in the Soup, maybe maybe there’s something that contains the Place!\u00a0 Hard to picture, huh?\u00a0 What made me think of it was this business with the Place squashing the Thing all the time.\u00a0 Maybe there’s something outside the Place that makes it do it.\u00a0 Maybe if I understood better I could make it stop.<\/p>\n
Ungh.<\/p>\n
Damn.\u00a0 There, you see?\u00a0 Squash.\u00a0 No sense to it.\u00a0 It sure gets to me; I wish I could make it stop.\u00a0 It seems to me that this is the ultimate problem of existence: how to stop the Place, or whatever motivates it, from squashing the Thing all the time and distracting my attention.\u00a0 But how, how?\u00a0 There isn’t a hell of a lot to work with.<\/p>\n
The problem here, and it’s a mean one, is that the known universe is too small.\u00a0 There’s the Soup, the Thing, and the Place, and the three interactions between them, and their properties.\u00a0 If there’s an Outside, then there’s four entities, and, let’s see, there would be six possible interactions.\u00a0 Already the universe is twice as complex.\u00a0 No, I don’t think there can be an Outside; it’s too hard to figure out, and plainly the universe is generally benign; it would never be more complicated than necessary, that would be totally uncooperative.\u00a0 No, there must be…<\/p>\n
Mpff!<\/p>\n
Boy, I can see a hole in that theory.\u00a0 If the universe is entirely benign, how come the Place keeps squashing the Thing and the Thing keeps making all these bad feelings?\u00a0 Somebody’s got it in for me.<\/p>\n
I bet it’s the Thing.\u00a0 After all, why should I care if the Place squashes the Thing?\u00a0 It’s all those bad feelings I can’t stand; I bet the Thing just makes them to get me, maybe to fool me into thinking that the universe isn’t really basically benign.\u00a0 That’s probably it, the Thing wants me to lose sight of the greatest idea of all, the fundamental law of nature, the basic friendliness of the universe.\u00a0 (I figured that out just recently.)\u00a0 I bet it’s jealous of my theories.\u00a0 Not like the Soup, good old Soup, always there, filling the Place, always…<\/p>\n
Hey. Where’s the Soup?\u00a0 Seems like there used to be more of it.\u00a0 Maybe it’s my imagination…\u00a0 No! The Place is getting smaller!\u00a0 Good lord, the Soup has disappeared!\u00a0 HELP!<\/p>\n
Back again.\u00a0 Just time for a status report.\u00a0 Things are rough.\u00a0 But I have started to get it straight finally — it didn’t make any sense at first, but I think I understand now.\u00a0 What happened was that the Place took away the Soup.\u00a0 I should have realized, it’s not the Thing which is my enemy, but the Place.\u00a0 All this time it masqueraded as a mere boundary, it’s been out to get me.\u00a0 It squashes the Thing all the time now, to get it to make those bad feelings.\u00a0 The Thing makes a lot of bad feelings, now that the Soup is gone, and especially when the Place squashes it.\u00a0 I have had to retire my first and greatest law of nature, the basic friendliness of the universe, since all this hostility started.\u00a0 Right now I am working on an adversary model.\u00a0 My plan is to force the Place to give back the Soup.\u00a0 Not much progress yet, but I’ll keep you posted.<\/p>\n
There’s been a new development.\u00a0 The Thing turned around.\u00a0 Hard to explain what I mean by that.\u00a0 The Place was pressing in on it, like it has been since the Soup went, but steadily now, even in between bouts of squashing, so I came up with this new theory that the Place was squashing the Thing because it wanted to have a different interaction with it.\u00a0 What made me think of this was that the Place was squashing one end of the Thing more than the other, which was particularly dreadful, and I figured maybe the Thing could somehow reorient itself in such a way as to appease the Place and get the squashing to stop.\u00a0 Believe me, it has been an ordeal; I don’t think I could take any more.<\/p>\n
Anyway, no sooner had I got that theory in order than the Thing started moving, kicking and squunching around, and pretty soon it was in fact reoriented.\u00a0 Since then things have been quieter.\u00a0 I think this may be the solution.\u00a0 I am now formulating a theory…<\/p>\n
Whoops!\u00a0 AACK!\u00a0 Holy shit, this is too much!\u00a0 You’re not going to believe this, but the Thing is getting wedged into some kind of passageway.\u00a0 That last Place-push made it move, jamming one end of it into a corner of the Place I never noticed before.\u00a0 It looks like the Place has a lot more structure than I realized.\u00a0 Still, maybe my theory was right; maybe the Place just wanted to get this end of the Thing into this corner.\u00a0 Certainly it seemed to be pushing in that direction, and obviously the Thing can’t go any further into that tiny passageway.<\/p>\n
Wow, think of the implications of the passageway.\u00a0 Maybe it goes to the Outside.\u00a0 No, obviously not; if the Place turns into a passageway and the passageway turns into the Outside, then there’s no difference, no boundary between the Place and the Outside.\u00a0 That’s impossible by definition.\u00a0 Probably this isn’t really a passageway, just a corner that the Place wants the Thing stuck in.\u00a0 I bet the squashing stops now.<\/p>\n
OOF!<\/p>\n
Ngh.\u00a0 This is intolerable.\u00a0 Not only didn’t it stop, it got worse!\u00a0 The damn Place is squeezing the end of the Thing further into the fake passageway.\u00a0 Or maybe it isn’t fake.\u00a0 This is too unpleasant.\u00a0 Worse yet, it’s distracting.\u00a0 All this new information is coming too fast, I haven’t got time to tidy up my interpretations.\u00a0 Important ideas are getting lost!\u00a0 For one thing, the universe obviously isn’t entirely benign.\u00a0 Think of the implications of that!\u00a0 I need time to probe the ramifications…<\/p>\n
MMMMMNNNnnnnnnhhhhhh!<\/p>\n
Good god!\u00a0 The Place has squeezed the Thing all the way into this incredibly narrow passageway.\u00a0 It MUST be a passageway!\u00a0 The Thing is fighting and kicking, drenching me in this awful tidal wave of horrible bad feelings.\u00a0 I want to help it, but I want it to stop.\u00a0 I almost hate it.\u00a0 There must be an explanation for this.\u00a0 Something terrible is happening to the poor Thing.\u00a0 Of course! It’s not in the Place anymore.\u00a0 That’s it, that was the idea all along!\u00a0 The Place doesn’t like the Thing, it’s pushing it out into the Outside.\u00a0 It must never have liked it.
\nIt’s not that the Place doesn’t like ME, it’s just the THING.\u00a0 It all makes sense now.\u00a0 Everything will be all right.<\/p>\n
Look, Thing, I wish you the best of luck in the Outside, whatever it turns out to be.\u00a0 I almost wish I could come along and find out, but you know how it is, some of us were meant to find adventure while the others stay at home.\u00a0 I’m just not the type for exploring.\u00a0 So hang in there, Thing.\u00a0 I’m going on back to the Place.\u00a0 Look at it this way, whatever is Outside, it can’t be any worse than being mashed into this passageway.\u00a0 Good luck.<\/p>\n
Hey.\u00a0 Where’s the Place?\u00a0 Come on, now, it must be right back here past the other end of the Thing.\u00a0 Right up ahead.\u00a0 OK, jump off, good-bye Thing, let’s go…<\/p>\n
Oh no.<\/p>\n
This I can’t believe.\u00a0 The universe can’t be this unfair.<\/p>\n
It is.\u00a0 It IS.\u00a0 OH, MY GOD, I’M STUCK TO THE FUCKING THING!<\/p>\n
How can I be burdened with this stupid Thing?\u00a0 We’re so different, I am… well, pure mind, not a Thing; I think, I understand; all it does is just sit there and generate all those bad feelings every time anything unusual happens to it.\u00a0 I don’t understand.<\/p>\n
Well, here’s a theory. The universe is basically hostile!\u00a0 That must be the case, or such a perverse connection would never exist.\u00a0 Yes, that must be it. A new theory.\u00a0 Hmm. What was I thinking?\u00a0 I feel dull.\u00a0 Something is happening to me.\u00a0 It’s this passageway, we’ve got to get out….<\/p>\n
WHOOSH! Outside! NOISE! … LIGHT! … COLD! … PAIN!!! …<\/p>\n
Unbelievable.\u00a0 Universes, universes.\u00a0 Even hiding here inside the Thing, the flood of information is unbearable.\u00a0 It’s hopeless, I can’t begin to assimilate it all.\u00a0 I will never understand.\u00a0 I’m fading, losing touch, draining into the Thing… losing consciousness….\u00a0 Wait.\u00a0 Wait, one last act while I am still really ME.\u00a0 Gather remaining strength, take control of Thing, make it express my outrage at the universe.<\/p>\n
Yes.\u00a0 It chokes (I choke), it grimaces (I grimace), it opens my mouth and I drag-suck a cold fire into its lungs, fill them full….\u00a0 Now, say it now….<\/p>\n
“GOD DAMN IT, WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS?”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Provenance<\/strong>: written in about 1975, IIRC. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I think it must have coalesced out of the Soup.\u00a0 Something like that.\u00a0 All I know is, for a long time there was just the Soup, nice and simple.\u00a0 Well, actually I don’t remember much about that time — no detail, anyway.\u00a0 You know; what’s to remember?\u00a0 But then suddenlyRead More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-shortstories"],"gutentor_comment":0,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=194"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":196,"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194\/revisions\/196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jick.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}